Prediction Therapy
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The first lesson of Prediction Therapy begins with an internalisation of an array of tested and tried statements. They are the ones that cannot be challenged, that are always correct and universally applicable. They are correct both heuristically and statistically. In my blog I may enumerate a few.
Statement 1:
‘Sir, you’re basically a peace-loving individual, but then there are some who do not allow you to remain in peace. They envy you, curse you—but whatever they do, they do it at your back.
‘Take it from me—they would not be able to do any harm to you.’
Statement 2:
‘In your life you keep getting some good support from an unknown source, say a friendly individual or a well-wisher. He (you may change it to “she” if you’re predicting it for a young man) loves to remain incognito, he(she) believes that it would be a bad reflection on his (her) sincerity if he (she) tells that in public.
‘But rest assured, the influence will always be there.’
Statement 3:
‘Your mother had prayed god for your recovery in the childhood (when you’re just a baby, a toddler) and had promised god something. She had completely forgotten it. Minor difficulties keep coming in you life for this small slip on her part.
‘But keep this secret from everybody. You, as her worthy offspring, can fulfil this your way. Just offer a simple prayer to god for seven (make it 15, 30, 45 or as you deem fit) and everything will look up. Don’t remind your mother (or your father in case mother is dead) and make her feel guilty. This might aggravate the consequence on you.’
Statement 4:
‘Your wife is very good at heart. All good things in your life happen for her good deeds, silent prayers. (Don’t change it to “Your husband is a very good person at heart…” if you are to predict it for a lady. Don’t you’ve the common sense that husbands are responsible for all the worries of wives?”)
‘Henceforward whenever you go out, make a habit to drink a glass of water as served by her; this will minimize the hassle for you.’ (If you’re predicting for a foreigner tell “Kiss her before leaving house”.)
Statement 5:
If you are predicting a forty-plus north Indian male or even an east Indian (restrict it to Hindi-speaking or Hindi-knowing clients, for “Jai Santoshi Mata” film was only restricted to Hindi belt), try this:
‘Your wife used to worship Santoshi Mata (Goddess Santoshi), but she had left it. Nothing wrong would happen by this, but then, a puja (worship) is a puja and you have only blessing to gain if she restarts it.’
Statement 6:
‘You get a dream quite frequently and wonder what it is and how it shapes. Sometimes—why sometimes; it is most of the times—you forget the contents early in the morning. Then you feel unhappy, giddy or as if you’ve lost something.
‘That has something to do with your previous birth, you know. In your previous birth a very close friend of yours died in front of you. That was a very sad moment and I know you will carry this for next two or three births.
‘But then there is a remedy. (Tell it is of Chinese / Sumerian/ Red Indian origin). (Ask him to) Draw a triangle/hexagon/pentagon in a paper on a new moon night, away from the view of anybody. He may do it inside your bathroom, but make sure that nobody has a scent of it. Then as him to keep it below his pillow/bed. This will propitiate the soul of his friend in the earlier birth.’
Statement 7:
‘There are many occasions you have wondered how things so obviously nearer your reach just go away. And there are a few occasions—yes, only a few occasions—you feel so happy getting a thing so unexpected. This happens because of the balance/imbalance of your good luck over your bad luck. If it is positive, you succeed, and if it is negative you fail.
‘But don’t worry; luck can be boosted for the desired result. You may have some stone ring/ bird feather/ talisman/ ritual….’
So why delay? Keep trying a career in prediction therapy. After all, many are doing this. If Hritik Roshan can jump from a flying aeroplane and people pay to view it and believe it, why not your predictions? This can be perfected, for a commercial utilization.
Really I do not know if there is need of any licence for this and if so who issues it? Further, you may ask me: Do we have to pay service tax for this? Why bother—these are minor details; they can be checked, eventually.
__________________________________________________________________
By
A. N. Nanda
Berhampur
31-05-2006
_________________________________________________________________
The first lesson of Prediction Therapy begins with an internalisation of an array of tested and tried statements. They are the ones that cannot be challenged, that are always correct and universally applicable. They are correct both heuristically and statistically. In my blog I may enumerate a few.
Statement 1:
‘Sir, you’re basically a peace-loving individual, but then there are some who do not allow you to remain in peace. They envy you, curse you—but whatever they do, they do it at your back.
‘Take it from me—they would not be able to do any harm to you.’
Statement 2:
‘In your life you keep getting some good support from an unknown source, say a friendly individual or a well-wisher. He (you may change it to “she” if you’re predicting it for a young man) loves to remain incognito, he(she) believes that it would be a bad reflection on his (her) sincerity if he (she) tells that in public.
‘But rest assured, the influence will always be there.’
Statement 3:
‘Your mother had prayed god for your recovery in the childhood (when you’re just a baby, a toddler) and had promised god something. She had completely forgotten it. Minor difficulties keep coming in you life for this small slip on her part.
‘But keep this secret from everybody. You, as her worthy offspring, can fulfil this your way. Just offer a simple prayer to god for seven (make it 15, 30, 45 or as you deem fit) and everything will look up. Don’t remind your mother (or your father in case mother is dead) and make her feel guilty. This might aggravate the consequence on you.’
Statement 4:
‘Your wife is very good at heart. All good things in your life happen for her good deeds, silent prayers. (Don’t change it to “Your husband is a very good person at heart…” if you are to predict it for a lady. Don’t you’ve the common sense that husbands are responsible for all the worries of wives?”)
‘Henceforward whenever you go out, make a habit to drink a glass of water as served by her; this will minimize the hassle for you.’ (If you’re predicting for a foreigner tell “Kiss her before leaving house”.)
Statement 5:
If you are predicting a forty-plus north Indian male or even an east Indian (restrict it to Hindi-speaking or Hindi-knowing clients, for “Jai Santoshi Mata” film was only restricted to Hindi belt), try this:
‘Your wife used to worship Santoshi Mata (Goddess Santoshi), but she had left it. Nothing wrong would happen by this, but then, a puja (worship) is a puja and you have only blessing to gain if she restarts it.’
Statement 6:
‘You get a dream quite frequently and wonder what it is and how it shapes. Sometimes—why sometimes; it is most of the times—you forget the contents early in the morning. Then you feel unhappy, giddy or as if you’ve lost something.
‘That has something to do with your previous birth, you know. In your previous birth a very close friend of yours died in front of you. That was a very sad moment and I know you will carry this for next two or three births.
‘But then there is a remedy. (Tell it is of Chinese / Sumerian/ Red Indian origin). (Ask him to) Draw a triangle/hexagon/pentagon in a paper on a new moon night, away from the view of anybody. He may do it inside your bathroom, but make sure that nobody has a scent of it. Then as him to keep it below his pillow/bed. This will propitiate the soul of his friend in the earlier birth.’
Statement 7:
‘There are many occasions you have wondered how things so obviously nearer your reach just go away. And there are a few occasions—yes, only a few occasions—you feel so happy getting a thing so unexpected. This happens because of the balance/imbalance of your good luck over your bad luck. If it is positive, you succeed, and if it is negative you fail.
‘But don’t worry; luck can be boosted for the desired result. You may have some stone ring/ bird feather/ talisman/ ritual….’
So why delay? Keep trying a career in prediction therapy. After all, many are doing this. If Hritik Roshan can jump from a flying aeroplane and people pay to view it and believe it, why not your predictions? This can be perfected, for a commercial utilization.
Really I do not know if there is need of any licence for this and if so who issues it? Further, you may ask me: Do we have to pay service tax for this? Why bother—these are minor details; they can be checked, eventually.
__________________________________________________________________
By
A. N. Nanda
Berhampur
31-05-2006
_________________________________________________________________
Labels: Humour
posted by The Unadorned | 3:29 AM
2 Comments:
Just Superb! Excellent narration to make it real.
Thanks Padma for your appreciation. Even I had a round of reading of the stuff 5 years after I wrote it. It pleased me too, rather quite nostalgically.
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